Angela Dawn Vesely resides in rural northeast Nebraska. She and her husband, Jason, are thankful for the blessing of raising their two beautiful children, Gage and Ember, on her husband's family farm. Angela, a licensed massage therapist, is a stay-at-home mom, who loves spending time with her husband and children, cooking, reading, listening to music, and life on the farm.
Originally I wrote this book for myself. I had so many bottled up feelings, and I felt that I really couldn’t talk to anyone about them. So many unbelievable things had happened, that it almost didn’t seem real. I needed to let it all out, and it seemed as though my story just poured out of me when I began to write.
How did you come up with the title?
I came up with the title, “Not What We Were Expecting,” because my husband and I thought we’d be able to get pregnant and have a baby easily, just like “everyone” else. We never would have imagined what we would go through to try and have a family together. It’s also kind of a play on the word “expecting”.
How much of the book is realistic?
Although it definitely may seem as though my story is fictional, it is an entirely true story.
What made you decide to sit down and actually start something?
It was hard to talk to people, even friends and family, about everything that had happened to us. The topics of infertility, difficult pregnancy, miscarriage, infant loss, failed adoption, and micro preemies make people very uncomfortable. I didn’t know what else to do to free myself from the heartache I was still feeling, so I decided that maybe if I wrote it down, it would help me release some of the pain.
Is there anything you found particularly challenging in writing this book?
I made many mistakes in using incorrect punctuation and grammar. Also, going over court documents to make sure everything was exactly correct was tedious.
I suppose it would be the time involved with the editing process to get things “just right”.
How can readers discover more about you and your work?
People can connect with me on my Facebook page and my website, www.notwhatwewereexpecting.com. I would love to hear from interested readers!
Why do you feel you had to tell this story?
After writing this book only for myself, and it being such a healing experience for me, I decided that I really wanted to share my story with others, hoping in some small way it could begin the healing process for someone else, too. I want people to have hope, even if they are going through something they think seems impossible.
Though ours is an extremely unique journey, there are elements that I think just about everyone will be able to relate to, or identify with. You may have been through one of these issues yourself, and if you haven’t, you most likely know someone who has, even if you aren’t aware of it. People don’t talk about these things, it is almost taboo. It’s hard to understand, if you haven’t been through it. I want to provide some incite. I want people to know they are not alone in their struggles. I also think that if you are a parent, or want to become one someday, this story is for you, as well. I have hope that my story will inspire someone to not give up on their dreams, whatever those dreams may be.
Has your journey inspired you in other avenues of your life?
Most definitely! I try very hard to not take anything for granted. I feel so blessed and I am grateful every day for the life I have. I try to live my life to its fullest. I spend time with the people I love, and do the things that make me happy.
What did you learn about yourself, through writing your story?
I have learned that I am a strong person. I have learned to forgive myself and forgive others. I know that I do not want to be a bitter person, I want to be happy. I feel that writing my story brought me peace, and I have let it all go. It ended up being a wonderful way to heal.